On Forgiveness

There's always profuse talk about the virtues of Forgiveness. This is a subject that puzzles me.

It seems to me that we are all products, and victims, of our social context. Our behavior, and our values, will by default have much more to do with our cultural environment than with our personal philosophical stances. Grew up in the US? Chances are you are familiar, and comfortable, around Baseball, Burgers, and the Imperial System of Measures. Grew in in Uruguay instead? Then it's likely that you get pretty intense about Soccer and that there is a bag of Yerba Mate in your kitchen. These peculiarities of our culture are easy to detect. But what about those characteristics of our culture that run so deep, so silently, that we mistake them for innate ideas? Some values are so pervasive that it seems almost as if our brains come pre-wired for them. Forgiveness is one of these values.

Forgiveness is a very peculiar idea once you detach it from the detailed spelling of religious mandates. Forgiveness has a very specific set of behavioral expectations. It demands that you consciously, deliberately, forget any injuries you were subjected to, that you accept the pain those injuries caused (or still cause) and furthermore, that you forfeit any claims to deliverance, retribution or compensation for those injuries.

And we accept that strange concept as something Noble, Honorable, Admirable. To “bear grudges” is seen a sure symptom of an unstable mind. To “forgive and forget” is what we were taught as children, it is what we teach our children, it is what is expected of us, it is what we expect from others.

But does Forgiveness stand to reason? Is there anything admirable in allowing a villain to walk away unscathed from the scene of a crime?

Forgiveness is not about balance, or justice, or the redressing of grievances, or the healing of wounds. Forgiveness is not about righting wrongs and correcting the wrongdoer.

Forgiveness is a doctrine of pusillanimity and abject submission.

Forgiveness elevates the perpetrator and crushes the victim, it strongly encourages unethical behavior and informs the future actions the predator.

Forgiveness is fertilizer for injustice.